John Yarham considers some of the most emotionally charged moments in a young person’s life.
As results day arrives, many of us pull out the ‘no one asks about your GCCEs’ line or anecdotes about people who got disappointing exam results, and went on to do great things. When I think about those stories, there are a few success factors for the future that I think every 16 year old should know - whether celebrating straight As (‘9s’ in ‘new money’) or being a bit gutted with how things turned out. They all relate to your voice. When things have gone well for me in the world of work, or when I consider people who I admire as leaders and colleagues, there are five things about voice that are vital:
1) Listen more than you talk.
It’s only as I’ve got older that I’ve appreciated the accolade towards the man or woman “of few words”. The best contributions at meetings often come from the person who says the least. One piece of unsolicited advice to my children is that when you first meet someone it is best to go away knowing more about them than they do about you. It’s the people that are interested in other people - and properly listen - that often get the most out of work and life.
2) Know what you stand for and are prepared to speak up for.
There’s this great 1970s track, “Teach your children” by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, with lovely lines about what the generations can learn from each other,
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young“You, who are on the road, Must have a code that you can live by, And so, become yourself…”
One of the problems with asking: “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, is that it misses the really important question: Who do you want to be? Who are you? What are you prepared to speak out for? There’s this thing that happens sometimes, when people say: ‘When I make it, I will … [do x or y good thing]’. I have noticed that when those people do ‘make it’ they don’t end up doing that thing, unless they have done it from day one. That includes giving honest feedback ‘truth to power’ and sticking up for people without power - the people who speak out when others don’t.
3) Be proud of where your voice comes from.
There has been some insightful critique over the years on the notion that aspiration in education is too often interpreted as escaping from conditions you grew up in. The older I get the more ‘off beam’ this feels. The people that I know who are admired for their work and contribution to the world aren’t the ones trying to escape their roots, they are the ones that have dug in deeper, wanting to ‘give back’, lift up others and reflect on what their backgrounds (sometimes very tough ones) have given them in terms of experience and understanding about what matters in life.
4) Be confident in your own authentic voice.
Authenticity is an under-rated superpower and a vital tool for trust. I’ve spoken before about the time when I was asked if I’d considered elocution lessons to help with career progression. It was a well-meaning question and I know that some accents hold stereotypes which could be seen as unhelpful. The reason I found that suggestion funny from the start was because to me it was unthinkable to change a part of me that is a core part of who I am, and something I quite like (my Essex accent). Being comfortable with who you are helps you build relationships, be confident in your decisions, and it saves significant emotional and mental work trying to be someone you’re not.
5) Be open and share when things don’t go to plan.
The other thing that being comfortable in your own skin helps with, is being open about when you got things wrong and learning from the times you messed up or things didn’t go to plan. Failure is a brilliant teacher, but as with lots of great teachers, you sometimes only realise the worth a long way down the track. Talking about this and owning mistakes is a great way to build relationships, trust and to show leadership at all levels of the workplace and parts of life. So, whatever results day holds for you or someone you love, it’s well worth mulling over these five elements of voice and which ones to work on and talk more about.
Because whatever career path the future holds for any of us, chances are that matters of voice are likely to matter much more than any exam result.
Voice 21 is the national oracy charity supporting schools across the country to thread oracy education through the whole of school life. We’re on a mission to transform the learning and life chances of young people through talk so that every child can use their voice to thrive in school, work and life. You can read more about the vital role that oracy skills play in future careers here.
Written by
Dr Kate Paradine, CEO, Voice 21